I hate change so much. What I hate even more is that change is always going to happen. It is not avoidable. I think I've made peace with that fact finally. Well sort of.
Maybe not. I still hate change. But there is nothing I can do about it.
I will continue to lose and make new friends. I will continue to age. I will continue to try new things and decide whether or not I like what I've tried.
I also have noticed and seen through photos that I have changed so much. Even just over a period of two years.
I hope with the continuation of change, that I will also see a change in the world. I hope the change in the world will be terrific and not terrifying.
Because people scare me. I hate people. There are so many rude and ignorant people who have no respect for anything or anyone.
I also hope with change, I change. Not just looks, but with my attitude.
I have one of the worst attitudes I think. I catch myself being more pessimistic than optimistic lately. I don't like that. I also have been consumed with so much hatred. Hatred towards humans. Not all, but most definitely a vast majority. I also find myself every once and a while thinking terrible thoughts that I use to when I was terribly depressed. I'm afraid that I will slip back into an awful depression. I don't want to feel sad and empty all the time again. It's not fun.
So, yeah. I like the positive side of change, but absolutely fear the negative side.