Thinking about all the pain you caused me sucks. Just apologize already. Like please, seriously.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Feeling...
Like I don't matter.
Feeling like I'm not important.
Feeling like just another face in the crowd.
Feeling stressed and overwhelmed and sad.
I have a head ache. /:
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Change
I hate change so much. What I hate even more is that change is always going to happen. It is not avoidable. I think I've made peace with that fact finally. Well sort of.
Maybe not. I still hate change. But there is nothing I can do about it.
I will continue to lose and make new friends. I will continue to age. I will continue to try new things and decide whether or not I like what I've tried.
I also have noticed and seen through photos that I have changed so much. Even just over a period of two years.
I hope with the continuation of change, that I will also see a change in the world. I hope the change in the world will be terrific and not terrifying.
Because people scare me. I hate people. There are so many rude and ignorant people who have no respect for anything or anyone.
I also hope with change, I change. Not just looks, but with my attitude.
I have one of the worst attitudes I think. I catch myself being more pessimistic than optimistic lately. I don't like that. I also have been consumed with so much hatred. Hatred towards humans. Not all, but most definitely a vast majority. I also find myself every once and a while thinking terrible thoughts that I use to when I was terribly depressed. I'm afraid that I will slip back into an awful depression. I don't want to feel sad and empty all the time again. It's not fun.
So, yeah. I like the positive side of change, but absolutely fear the negative side.
Maybe not. I still hate change. But there is nothing I can do about it.
I will continue to lose and make new friends. I will continue to age. I will continue to try new things and decide whether or not I like what I've tried.
I also have noticed and seen through photos that I have changed so much. Even just over a period of two years.
I hope with the continuation of change, that I will also see a change in the world. I hope the change in the world will be terrific and not terrifying.
Because people scare me. I hate people. There are so many rude and ignorant people who have no respect for anything or anyone.
I also hope with change, I change. Not just looks, but with my attitude.
I have one of the worst attitudes I think. I catch myself being more pessimistic than optimistic lately. I don't like that. I also have been consumed with so much hatred. Hatred towards humans. Not all, but most definitely a vast majority. I also find myself every once and a while thinking terrible thoughts that I use to when I was terribly depressed. I'm afraid that I will slip back into an awful depression. I don't want to feel sad and empty all the time again. It's not fun.
So, yeah. I like the positive side of change, but absolutely fear the negative side.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Forget
I don't want to remember the time I've wasted thinking about you.
I wish I could erase you from my mind, so that if I were to ever see you again you'd just be a stranger passing by.
I've now fallen in love, with someone who loves me right back.
But I feel terribly awful that just the thought of what happened still causes me so much pain.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Somerset Beach...
I had a very odd dream last night.
It's the first day of family camp and I'm sitting in the grass of my old youth group leaders campsite. I don't know this yet though. I see them walk up and greet them both with BIG hugs. We then walk, arms around each other, back to their site. We talk about missing each other, and how I feel singled out. Then I help them set up their tent.
After finishing putting up their tent an old friend, who is called Gigi, walked up. We chat. Then the bearded friend of mine asks me if I'm ready to head up and go see the children, he says they'll make me feel better. But I decide to stay at the campsite. They and Gigi leave.
It starts to rain, and I have to use the bathroom, so I run to the field house. The bathrooms got switched, Girls on the left now and Boys on the right. I finish my business and as I'm leaving I see people who hurt me terribly homecoming of my sophomore year. I run out of the field house to avoid anything that could happen.
That's all I can remember. Alright well, choa to those of you who read my posts.
It's the first day of family camp and I'm sitting in the grass of my old youth group leaders campsite. I don't know this yet though. I see them walk up and greet them both with BIG hugs. We then walk, arms around each other, back to their site. We talk about missing each other, and how I feel singled out. Then I help them set up their tent.
After finishing putting up their tent an old friend, who is called Gigi, walked up. We chat. Then the bearded friend of mine asks me if I'm ready to head up and go see the children, he says they'll make me feel better. But I decide to stay at the campsite. They and Gigi leave.
It starts to rain, and I have to use the bathroom, so I run to the field house. The bathrooms got switched, Girls on the left now and Boys on the right. I finish my business and as I'm leaving I see people who hurt me terribly homecoming of my sophomore year. I run out of the field house to avoid anything that could happen.
That's all I can remember. Alright well, choa to those of you who read my posts.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Tears
It's been awhile since I've cried. I don't really know exactly why I started getting upset, but what triggered the watering eyes was the fact that I miss people. /:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)